Last year, as part of a surfeit of general enthusiasm for all things WA-related, I entered the Web Analytics Association (WAA) Championship. This competition is a great idea and allows web analysts and wannabes to get their investigative hats on and get cracking on some analysis of the WAA site.
The Tale of the Littlest Ninja
Little Ninja said: “If you are provided with top-notch free analysis, act on it!”
Little Ninja had noticed that insight gained from previous Web Analytics Association Championship entries had not been acted upon. For example, a Predicta ninja had noted that “some URLs even contain user email information” – if this had been acted upon, the 2009 Championship would not have been delayed – an incident which had caused sadness throughout Analyticadia.
The Web Analytics Association, a mystical organization of world renown, counted some of the most talented and respected ninjas on its membership scroll. Why then, when given recommendations and free analysis, had changes not been implemented? This seemed to weaken the root of the perceived value of membership.
“The Web Analytics Association must be a paragon of preach-practice” cried Little Ninja, “Those who seek wisdom and knowledge should be able to come here and find guidance and leadership!”
Little Ninja paused for breath after this impassioned speech. He noticed one of the Gurus was eyeing him rather warily. Nevertheless, he pressed on with steadfast determination (referred to by his friends as stubborn pig-headedness).
Little Ninja said: “If you know what people want, give it to them!”
Little Ninja had always believed that the mystical words and phrases used by “The Visitors” when employing the magic of a search engine were an important key to their intent and desires. These nomadic folk were not looking for what they knew they would find but for what they wanted to find. They had an expectation in their minds and would keep searching until they found something that answered their needs. Or give up – they were an inherently lazy people, increasingly spellbound by instant gratification.
Little Ninja scratched a graphical representation of the phrases used by The Visitors on the wall of his work hut and noticed that it looked like a creature with a long tail. This “Long Tail” was bringing almost half of The Visitors to the Web Analytics Association’s Castle and those Visitors were largely looking for news and education. However, the rooms of the Castle full of news and education took The Visitors the longest to get to, on average.
“Build better signs to the rooms of Edification and Intelligence”, shrieked Little Ninja, dribbling slightly in his excitement, “The Visitors want knowledge and that is why they come to this Castle! These rooms should have pride of place and the contents should be refreshed more regularly! The Blog Room is hidden deep within the Castle, a scarcely visited jewel! Share the knowledge! Build a map! Let the wishes of The Visitors be satisfied!” At that, Little Ninja fell to the floor in a trembling heap at the feet of the Gurus and had to be revived with some smelling salts and a stiff brandy. One of the Gurus wrinkled his nose disdainfully at this unseemly display.
Little Ninja said: “A ninja’s home should be his castle!”
Little Ninja picked himself up from the floor and grew pale and quaked before the stern glares of the Gurus. But he was determined to go on.
He had noticed that one of the most popular doors to the Castle was the one used by ninjas on the membership scroll who had forgotten their magic password. While gadding about the land of Analyticadia, Little Ninja had discovered that the number of ninjas on the membership scroll had grown 400% between 2005 and 2008 so getting ninjas to enroll was clearly not a problem but they were obviously not seeing the WAA Castle’s member rooms as places to regularly visit, and as a result were often having to be reminded of their magic passwords.
“The Castle should be the first stop of the day for ninjas!” yelped Little Ninja, his eyes crossing with the effort to continue speaking under the bemused gazes of the Gurus. “Ninjas should not see the Castle as just a place to pick up discounts for ninja gatherings or badges for the doors of their own castles. They need reasons to pay the tithe to renew their membership – especially those who can’t make it to the gatherings!” Little Ninja gulped nervously and wondered if he should continue with his recommendation that ninjas have clearer news and collaboration areas in the castle, perhaps allowing endorsed white scrolls from member ninjas and so on. The Gurus were looking a little uneasy at this point, however, so he settled for what he hoped was a reassuring wink. The middle Guru harrumphed crossly.
Little Ninja said: “Knowing is not acting!”
Shuddering violently and wilting before the glowering Gurus, Little Ninja gulped and drew himself up to his full height, which was not the least bit impressive.
“I have nothing but respect for the Web Analytics Association’s castle”, he humble-mumbled, “but the ninjas of Analyticadia get lost there and are not getting the value they should from an amble about the castle grounds”. Completely spent, Little Ninja slid to the floor and closed his eyes. As the life left his body, he thought of the words of Oscar Wilde, and painfully squeaked (in an effort to have wise last words) “No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly”.
