Michele Hinojosa - Jojoba Woman

To celebrate the silly-season, I’m profiling some folks to be found in the web analytics industry (see also: Jeff Katz – Twitalyzer Man & HiPPO – Obnoxious Man).
This time, it’s the wonderful Jojoba (who is known as Jojojoba for the festive season).  She also occasionally goes by the name Michele Hinojosa, but not even her husband calls her that anymore.

Jojojoba, tell us a little about yourself.

I’m an Australian-born Aussie/American dual citizen, now living in Southern California. However, the road that got me here included growing up in Geelong, Melbourne, Perth and Sydney (Australia), Connecticut (USA), the Netherlands and London.

And for the record, yes, I am descendent from a convict. No, seriously, I actually am. My great-great-great-great-great grandfather was sent to Australia because he stole a gentleman’s hat.

I am a web analytics geek by day, currently embarking on a new adventure as Director of Digital Analytics at Red Door Interactive in San Diego. By night, weekend, or stupid-early in the morning, I’m a group fitness instructor teaching RPM, BodyPump, BodyCombat, and sometimes a little BodyJam. So long as I keep my #measure and Les Mills kool-aids separate in the fridge, I’m all good. When I mix them up, my classes looks confused when I ask them to turn their bike resistance up two standard deviations.

How many times have you been photographed in an embarrassing costume?

I try to limit it to days that end with Y.

If you were a metric, which one would you be and why?

Engagement, because everyone has to figure out what it means for themselves. The puzzle is half the fun.

If 50% of website visitors make a purchase, how long does it take to sieve one kilogram of flour while singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

That would depend on whether you were wearing the ruby slippers.

How do you feel about the web analytics community campaigning for you to change your name to Jojoba (or Jojojoba for the festive season)?

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Right now, the community as a whole is my hero, not just one individual. This community is full of very busy people, with a heavy workload and lives outside the office. Yet they volunteer time to amazing programs like the Analysis Exchange, they help on Web Analytics Association initiatives, they answer questions from the community via social media and even to take time to chat with a fellow analyst about challenges they’re having, or decisions they’re making. I have been truly amazed at how much this community gives, and feel very humbled and lucky to be a part of such a group. (Awwww, group hug!)

You secretly believe that web analytics is all about capturing personal data and manipulating people into buying cardboard garden tools, right?

Oh no, I didn’t get the newest memo! I thought we were trying to spy on people to uncover their love of unicorns and sell them miniature figurines.

Is web analytics very unpopular in Australia?  Is that why you had to leave?

Actually, yes, I believe web analytics is even younger in Australia than it is in the US.

However I was actually forced to leave for a reason I can’t tell you. It involves a stuffed monkey, a bottle of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc, and an international peanut butter smuggling ring. Oh no – I’ve probably said too much …

What is your wish for 2011?

Well, naturally I’m going to continue my campaign for world domination. But in my free time, I just want to get to the end of 2011 knowing more than I know now. There is so much out there to learn, and I’m always looking for the next thing.

If you were writing a screenplay for a movie about web analytics, what would be the title?

I’m working on a script for “Charlie’s Analysts”, about a team of super cute web analysts that get rid of bad guys by proving their methods are not ROI positive. However, I haven’t figured out how to film the scene of the redhead surfing away from the bad guys while on her laptop…

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been asked by a customer?

Some odd Irish girl asked me to change my name legally to Jojoba …  But I guess that’s not a customer.

Finish the sentence: “Web Analytics is….”

… an awesome way for us to all pretend we’re cool, since we work with the interwebs, social media and new technology, when in reality we’re all just a bunch of huge nerds.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!