Jim Sterne - Social Man

It’s not possible to get to everyone, but this Silly Series of web analytics people profiles makes a stab at it by helping you learn more about the people in your industry.

This time, it’s writer of books, speaker of words – Jim Sterne.

James, tell the dear readers about yourself.

I am proof that a degree in Shakespeare can be parlayed into an actual career. Years of selling computers and software made me fall in love with marketing and when I saw my first web site in 1993 I was gobsmacked. I’ve written seven books on online marketing, advertising and customer service, spoken at hundreds of conferences in 21 countries and just can’t seem to shut the heck up. The eMetrics Marketing Optimization Summit and the Web Analytics Association are my most prized accomplishments. I live in Santa Barbara with my wife, the judge, and one and three quarters Schipperkes.

Be honest, eMetrics is just an excuse for people to get together, skip work and get sloshed with people they vaguely know for a large fee, right?

Yeahhh…  Except the sloshed part is optional. Doing it sober is fun too.

What is the strangest question you’ve ever fielded at a speaking engagement?

“How did you learn to do that in PowerPoint?” It’s sort of like climbing to the top a of a mountain and having somebody ask you where you get your shoes. I just trashed that whole presentation and never showed it again. Oh – and then there was, “Does a cookie mean they can tell what you’re thinking?” I just answered Yes without any comment like, “That’s a really good question.”

You’ve written a book or two in your time.  If you were to write a book on any topic other than web analytics, what would it be?

Marketing. I spent 15 years teaching marketing people about online and now I find myself teaching online people about marketing. I would want to lay out my “World of Marketing According to Jim”.  Turns out there’s a lot to it, but only a handful of really important precepts than make all the difference. That, or an in-depth treatise on varieties of High Tea in various locations around London.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

They’re ALL wearing capes. Can’t you see them?
Naming them all is up to efforts like the Digital Measurement Awards http://bit.ly/haSiYC.

Since I’m on the hook to single out one, let me introduce you to Elizabeth Brady @ewbanalytics who wrote me this morning to say that she had left her job and struck out on her own to help others.

Thanks to the WAA/UBC courses, as well as the eMetrics conference, I gained confidence that the experience I learned at Monster was transferable and I could see the opportunities in the industry. I signed up to ‘test the test’ for the WAA certification, took it cold and learned I had scored in the top 20%.  Late last spring, I became a freelancer and I haven’t looked back yet.  I’ve had the opportunity to learn new tools and work in new industries. I have more control over my workload, and even in my first six months in business I completely replaced my former salary.  I work from  home and meet my children at the bus stop 3 days a week.

Just look at the cape on that woman!

What do you think is the most surprising thing about you?

People are always surprised my ability to receive television broadcast signals from the 1940′s with my dental bridgework and upload them to YouTube via Twitter on a Sinclair  ZX80. Except my Dad. He thinks I should get some more work done so I get do it in 3DHD.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

I wish all of this web measurement and personalization stuff would get figured out so the interconnected Intertubes would know what I need before I do, find the best price/value ratio for my current financial situation and source the one in just the right color to match my eyes.

I wish somebody would come up with a privacy policy that is a) fair for every consumer, b) easy to understand, and c) easy to implement.

I wish everybody who has struggled to make their analysis heard and acted on finds just the right words and pictures to make the rest of them see the light.

I wish for world peace, and end to hunger and war, and a solution to the global energy quandary.

And a pony.

Who would you like to play you in a movie about web analytics and what would be the title of said movie?

Daniel Radcliffe for my younger days, Paul Giamatti for current scenes and then John Malkovich for flash-backs from my dotage in a sleeper cult drama called, “Harry Potter and the Godfather of the Raiders of the Lost Star Wars”

You have a bird in your hand, but there are two in the bush.  What colour is Engagement?

African or European swallow?

A lady on the street smacks you in the head with her purse and screams that web analytics is part of a conspiracy to part her from all her carefully-saved pennies.  How do you convince her otherwise?

I tell her in a calming voice that these things can easily be understood if only she will spend just a little time with me as I am a world renowned consultant, willing to explain at my usual hourly fee until I have parted her from all of her carefully-saved pennies which I will then use to purchase her access to a completely secure network with guaranteed privacy protection that will allow her to connect with her cat and nothing else.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!