Today, we turn our attentions to Wesley Hall, a man who is of no help at all with a chest of drawers. Thanks to [...]]]> “Out flew the web and floated wide.   The mirror crack’d from side to side.  ”The curse is come upon me,” cried  The Lady of Shalott. ”
Methinks  fair lady was weaving a Silly Series…

Today, we turn our attentions to Wesley Hall, a man who is of no help at all with a chest of drawers.
Thanks to Rudi Shumpert for adding some questions to the mix!

Who is Wes Hall, and why are you oft referred to as “Big Wes”?

I have been asked to describe myself for various professional and legal reasons over the years, and I am always a little stumped in trying to portray who I am.  I am a husband (been married for almost nineteen years) and a proud Poppa Bear.  I am currently a Senior Web Business Analyst for Home Depot.  Prior to that, I worked for Computer Sciences Corporation as a Senior Web Analyst for the US Army.  I have worked in Developer and Analyst roles on sites for Lane Bryant, Service Master and Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum.  When I am not at HD or working on my honey-do list, I am working on publishing a journal of my family’s genealogy.

My Big Wes moniker started as a way to differentiate me from my namesake son.  Nowadays, Big Wes refers more to my imposing frame than my daddy status.  I do not consider myself intimidating, but I have been told by several of my daughter’s would be boyfriends that I can be quite scary.

You work for The Home Depot.  Should I panic if I have 3 extra screws and a squiggly plastic thing left over after putting together a chest of drawers?

Yank each of your drawers open really hard and if any of them fall apart, then yes, you needed those screws.  That plastic thingy is what we professionals refer to as a do-dad.  It is used to hold Post-It Notes to remind yourself not to forget the screws when you start over!

What do you think is a bigger pain-point in the world of web analytics – the increasing number of channels to attribute or the view that analytics should be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy?

Both scenarios should be handled by managing expectations, but the bigger pain has to be channel attribution gone wild.  I can use a few choice techie words to combat the lemon squeezy perception; but keeping stakeholders from trying to boil the ocean requires a bit more finesse.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Answering this question is like thanking people at the Academy Awards.  If I leave someone out, I could get in deep doodie. Nevertheless, I will commit – but we have a tie:
Eric Peterson because of the RACR [Reach, Acquire, Convert, Retain – it’s that or Raytheon Advanced Combat Radar – ed] model that I live my analytical life by and because he was very influential in my Web Analytics career progression.
Rudi Shumpert because I have seen this dude in action and he is a real billy bad ass.  In the Analytics world, Rudi is a real mover and shaker – plus he has the best nerd shirt collection any geek could ask for.

[Since publication, Big Wes has developed a serious man-crush on Casey Cheshire and would like to include him in the list of Super Heroes - ed]

Who is the Super Villain in the #measure world.

hmmmm… FYeahAnalytics is not really a Super Villian – but more like an anti-hero.  FYeahAnalytics is the kind of character you root for in spite of him being bad on so many levels.  I learn so much from the #measure crowd.  It is just a lot more fun with these bad boys.

What is the strangest place you have worn your Home Depot Orange Apron?

It was not so much the place – but the way I wore my apron.  I once thought it would be a good idea to wear my apron down to the mailbox in lieu of a shirt.  Neither my wife, my daughter, nor our HOA was amused.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

1. No more media coverage of William and Kate.
2. Web Analytics will start to focus on sentiment analysis.
3. Web Analytics will become an established discipline in business.

But that’s three wishes – if I have to pick just one, then no more William and Kate.

You volunteer in the Analysis Exchange.  If you need more work to do, I can help – you could rebuild my chest of drawers, perhaps.

As tempting as that sounds, chests of drawers are just not my specialty.  I am more of an assemble your grill, add charcoal and lighter fluid, light a fire, and slow cook a Boston Butt for 12 hours kind of guy.  Give me a call when you find the matches!

What would you tell someone who wanted to be just like Rudi Shumpert when they grow up?

First, never underestimate the power of a slick goatee.  Embrace the soul patch. Own it.  Next, do not be afraid to take your show on the road.  If you are going to be like Rudi, you are going to have to collect those frequent flier miles.  Lastly, learn your craft.  The next Rudi will have to be a master of many skills.  Eat, sleep and breathe this industry.

What advice would you give a young buck just getting started in web analytics?

Master the technical aspects of web development first.  Conquer HTML, JavaScript any web based programming languages you can.  In spite of all of its advances, the web still runs through browsers that interpret code.  Learn the business side of the web and how to use Excel.  Excel will become a close friend as you progress.  Read “Web Analytics Demystified” by Eric Peterson and work as a student at the Analyst Exchange. Only after all this are you ready to walk the rice paper. Never stop reading. Never stop learning.

When are you going to grow out your hair for the Jason Thompson faux-hawk?

Years before I came to know and admire Jason, I attempted that cool, jazz saxophonist haircut.  Every time I tried, I ended up looking more like Cleveland Brown than Jason Thompson.  Maybe I will try again when the weather cools down.  In the meantime, I will imitate Jason through deeds more than sight.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

This time, we turn to Tim Patten, a man with a frothy head and a smooth finish.

What should people know about Timothy Patten, esquire?

Starting out as [...]]]> If you work in web analytics, you need to read the Silly Series to understand what you’ve gotten yourself into.  It’s a wonderful world, brimming with wacky wonderful people.

This time, we turn to Tim Patten, a man with a frothy head and a smooth finish.

What should people know about Timothy Patten, esquire?

Starting out as a web developer, I moved into Web Analytics about 3 years ago and have never looked back. You can find me chatting amongst the #measure community on Twitter as @timpatten.

In my free time, I also enjoy hitting the slopes on my snowboard and viewing the world through the lens of my Nikon D60. I have always had a love of the great outdoors and living in Oregon has been a blessing. The beautiful Cascade, Wallowa, and Siskiyou Mountains are my second, third, and fourth homes whenever I can find the time. When I’m not in the mountains, you can usually find me next to the nearest river with a fishing pole in my hand, or at the nearest Brewpub having some of my favorite beer.

You describe yourself as a beer snob.  How do you feel Dreher compares with Borsodi?

I do subscribe to beer snobs anonymous.  I have always been picky about what beer I drink and tend to taste it like someone would taste wine.  I actually take pride in the fact that I have turned a couple of friends into beer snobs as well.  Oregon truly is a perfect place to be a beer snob since it is known as the microbrewery capital of the world.

As for Dreher or Borsodi, I have not had either.  I have had Miller, however, which is owned by the same parent company as Dreher.  I wouldn’t consider it one of my favorites.  However, now you have given me two new breweries to try out.  So now I am happy and have a purpose in life.

What do you think is the least effective form of online advertising?

Forum Spam.  ’Nuff said.

You are a member of the Web Analytics Assocation.  Will you be renewing your membership?

That’s a tough question actually.  I have been a member since 2008 and I ask myself that question every year.  Ultimately it comes down to whether I want to have a vote or if I want to sit back and let everyone else decide for me.  If I’m not a member, I don’t have any voting rights.  I appreciate all that the WAA has accomplished for the industry in the last year and $199 for an individual is rather affordable.  In fact, if you attend one of the eMetrics conferences, WAA members receive a discount that is greater than the cost of the membership itself.

So, in answer to your question, YES, I will be renewing my membership with the WAA.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Everyone who is on Twitter contributing and helping out the community each and every day.  Everyone who is on the Analysis Exchange providing actionable analysis to the non-profits of the world.  Everyone who is making an effort to make measurement a more important and essential element of their organization.  OH!!  And anyone who is in the hunt to find a @Jojoba in the wild….

You recently agreed to join the Keystone Solutions team.  Did you lose a bet?

Ha!!  No, no bet lost. Im actually looking forward to working with such a great group of people.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

Other than trying out Dreher and Borsodi?  I would have to say that my wish would be to get out and enjoy life more.  I haven’t spent much time in the great outdoors lately and would really like to change that this summer.

I also hope to get much more involved in the #measure community through any means possible. That’s what makes our community the great community that it is; passionate people willing to give back and help others.

If you were banished from the land of Analyticadia, what would you choose as your alternate career?

Brewmaster or full-time Beer critic.  I keep telling myself that I want to retire someday and become a brewmaster.  Some people start vineyards.  I’ll brew beer.  Seems like a fair trade-off to me…

What would you describe as a life-changing event in your life?

The day I discovered that I finally liked IPA’s.  Changed my life forever.

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors?

A Woodchuck could chuck as much as a Woodchuck could chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood.  Rinse, Repeat.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

It’s time to talk to Ben Gaines – a man whose [...]]]> Some say that if you are profiled in this Silly Series, you have “arrived” in the web analytics industry.  But, you know, you don’t have to go looking for any evidence of anyone having said that….just take my word for it.

It’s time to talk to Ben Gaines – a man whose claim of musical multi-tasking has driven me to look in vain for video evidence.  I will not give up…

Benjamin, tell the nice readers some things about you.

I was born and raised just outside of Boston and still consider myself a “New England expatriate living abroad” south of Salt Lake City. I consistently annoy my Twitter followers with updates about the Red Sox and the Patriots. I got my start in analytics at Utah.com, where I did a little bit of SEO along with some basic analysis for the best tourism site in the state. I joined Omniture (now Adobe) in April 2006 in the ClientCare organization before moving into Community Management where I helped start up and grow the Omniture user community. After graduating with an MBA from the University of Utah, I moved into Product Management, working with Adobe SiteCatalyst and DigitalPulse. I’m a husband and proud father of two brilliant girls. In high school, my sports trivia submissions were featured on SportsCenter’s “Did You Know?” segment twice. I play a mean rendition of “Piano Man” by Billy Joel during which I sing and play both the piano and the harmonica.

Ben gains what, exactly?
(I’m sure that’s not the first time you’ve heard that one, but please humour me)

My mother used to say that my first son should be named “Capital.” The original (from second-grade summer camp) is “Ben gains weight,” which is sad but true.

What do you know about Project Jojoba, and how much do you support it?

I need 100% of my oxygen (not just 7%), so I pledge my heart and soul to Project Jojoba. To paraphrase Ghostbusters, “There is no Michele. . . only Jojoba.”

What is the worst question you’ve ever been asked in a job interview?

I can’t remember a question that was truly bad, but I will tell you my least favorite common interview question. It is, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” My favorite answer to that question: “Well, first of all, I hope to be one of the survivors.” And just leave it at that.
In all seriousness, I don’t like the idea of telling your hiring manager what you think your next step is. I value loyalty highly and I expect that others do, too; if I’m interviewing for a job (as I did when I moved to Product Management), I want my potential future manager to know that I’m not trying to use the job as a stepping stone. I understand what they’re going for with this question, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy answering it.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

There are a ton, and I could take this in many different directions, but today I’ll go with the guys who take time out of their busy day to help out fellow analysts on Twitter or other social platforms. In the Adobe/Omniture world, these are people like Adam Greco, Rudi Shumpert, Andreas Dierl, Kevin Rogers, and the inimitable Jason Thompson, plus many others whom I don’t have space to name. They understand more than just the tools; they understand analytics and organizations, and how to help the two mesh. It’s special when you see them reach out to a confused user who doesn’t even know that there is a vibrant community waiting to help him or her. Also, shout-out to Jorgen Sorensen (@OmnitureCare) and François Coquemont (@OmnitureFC), who have picked up the ball with our community management effort and run with it.

Solve for y where x is a slice of wholemeal bread topped with cheese (show your work for extra marks):  5x-y=33y(7x+y=51)

This is an excellent question for a statistical technique called “least-slices regression,” which can be added to SiteCatalyst through the use of our Toaster Oven add-on, currently in beta. (The answer, as always, is 42.)

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

I have many wishes for 2011. I’d like to see the Analysis Exchange continue to grow and to make a difference for non-profits and NGOs. The stories that mentors and students tell make me excited to be part of analytics. I think Jason Thompson’s experience with Charity:Water inspired all of us, and that whole thing grew out of his experience mentoring that organization.
I’d like to see organizations put smarter processes around implementing and deploying analytics. A shockingly small percentage of companies have an end-to-end process (including quality assurance, of course) to make sure that their data set is what they expect and that it actually reflects their business objectives. That’s how you get to a point where you can do meaningful analysis. We’re definitely thinking about ways to help companies do this more effectively.
I’d also like to see the Red Sox win the World Series. (It’ll be tough with Cliff Lee pitching for the Yankees. . . oh, what’s that? He didn’t sign with the Yankees after all? Oh. . . too bad.)

If you were given free rein in a company that had never practised web analytics, what is the first thing you would do?

I wish I had an exciting, controversial, or provocative answer, but I don’t think I would do anything differently than anyone else with experience in web analytics in that situation: I would work with various stakeholders to understand the company’s online business goals, build an implementation around that, and then begin showing the organization how valuable data analysis can be in guiding and optimizing the business. If I truly had carte blanche, I would hire a few analysts who are much smarter than I am. (The “Smarter Than Ben” category includes most readers of this blog.)

You were previously a community manager.  What is the biggest mistake you see people making when they use “official” company accounts in social media?

I can’t remember a single, egregious error that stands out, but that in and of itself might be suggestive of the biggest strategic mistake that companies make. In other words, it’s not hard to be error-free when your only Twitter presence is a bot that posts links to your CEO’s latest blog posts. Is there a place for that in your social media strategy? Sure. It’s important to get the word out about case studies, webinars, conferences and events, etc. But if a company stops there, and doesn’t empower real people to represent the company and establish relationships with key customers, they’ve missed 95% of the opportunity available to them in social media. Our experience empowering actual human beings to represent the company has been tremendous.

Do you ever wish you had become a journalist?

In some ways, yes. My parents were both journalists at one time or another in their careers, and I was briefly a journalism major in college. When I worked for the New England Patriots, I even got to author a few articles in Patriots Football Weekly, their weekly fan newspaper. I love the idea of inside access to people and events, and the thrill of breaking a story. That said, after having ate, slept, and breathed web analytics for the past five years, I honestly can’t imagine being anywhere else. I’ll stick to building awesome analytics tools.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

Today, we turn our attention to the simply marvellous Eric Peterson.

Eric, tell us a little about yourself.

I am a father of two beautiful children, married to a wonderful (and understanding) woman, and live in relative comfort in Portland, [...]]]> No animals were harmed in the making of this Silly Series on the people of web analytics.  Probably.

Today, we turn our attention to the simply marvellous Eric Peterson.

Eric, tell us a little about yourself.

I am a father of two beautiful children, married to a wonderful (and understanding) woman, and live in relative comfort in Portland, Oregon.  I am fortunate enough to have written some books, started blogging early on, and made one or two decisions that in retrospect turned out to be fairly good.  Now I try and surround myself with people who are more or less smarter than I am, keep my head down and my nose clean.  I fail at the latter quite often but, for the most part, things have turned out well so I just keep doing what I do.

3 Web Analytics Demystified partners walk into a bar.  Who pays for the second round of beers?

I am honored to work with John and Adam and so if buying a few rounds of beer is the price I have to pay then so be it.  In fact, while I was working to convince John Lovett to join me as a Demystifier we closed down a number of “lobby bars” in the wee hours — a skill I learned from Mr. Jim Sterne and one that has served me very well.

The Analysis Exchange must be some kind of a con.  What are you getting out of it?

Curse you, Emer, for you have discovered my secret con.  Yes, Analysis Exchange is an elaborate plot to turn otherwise busy people into much, much busier people by somehow convincing them that volunteering to help amazing nonprofits and give a fellow man or woman the opportunity to expand their skill set and, ultimately, job prospects in the world.  Through trickery, misdirection, and in your case, dear one, downright lies, I have bamboozled brilliant folks including Jason Thompson, Adam Greco, Phil Mui from Google, and frankly too many others to name … gasp … to do good.

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids.

Linda Evangelista once famously said that she wouldn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day.  What is your tipping point?

This is a trick question, I can tell.  I have no idea who Linda Evangelista is … let me Google her name.  GAAAAAAHHHHH!

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Tough question.  I will probably get in some kind of trouble for saying this, but I’m going to go with Stéphane Hamel.  He doesn’t like me very much, and he takes a lot of what I say entirely the wrong way, but he brings an enthusiasm to his work in the web analytics community that few can match and so I appreciate his passion.

If I had two picks my second would be Tim Wilson (Gilligan on Data) … Tim is a great blogger and has an incredibly nuanced understanding of the work we collectively do.

Clearly you never sleep.  How does your wife put up with you?

Either she is very understanding or asleep, one or the other.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

I’m not much of a wisher, Emer, I’m more of a “doer.”  Things I hope to do before the year ends include advancing the Analysis Exchange towards our goal of helping 1,000 nonprofits around the world.  I’d also like to convince thousands of web analysts around the world to sign the Web Analytics Association‘s Code of Ethics to help reshape the conversation about the work we collectively do in the popular press.

If you are forcing me to make a wish, then I wish you would come to eMetrics in San Francisco in March and let me buy you a pint or two for all your help with Analysis Exchange and for launching this implausibly funny and insightful blog series.  You kick ass.

You are contributing to the Code of Ethics.  Do you secretly think that web analytics practitioners are beyond redemption?

Probably, but I also secretly think that redemption is over-rated.  Shhhh.

What book about web analytics do you wish you’d written?

Steve Krug’s “Don’t Make Me Think” isn’t really about web analytics, but man I wish I would have written that book.  I would love to write about web analytics in such a simple, approachable way.

What’s so good about Adam Greco?

My favorite thing about Adam is that his wife Wendy has volunteered to serve as Executive Director in the Analysis Exchange and help us reach our goal of helping 1,000 nonprofits around the world get some free web analysis.  That is awesome, and so Adam gets to be awesome by extension.

How many times a day do you check your Twitalyzer scores (for professional purposes, of course…)

You’re asking me how many times a day I Twitalyze myself, Emer?  That’d kind of personal don’t you think?  I mean, it’s not like I asked you how many times a day you Twitalyze yourself …… of course I have amazing web analytics on the site and I can tell EXACTLY how many times a day you Twitalyze yourself and who else you are Twitalyzing and how long you gaze longingly at their avatar after you Twitalyze them so I suppose it’s not very fair.

I’m sorry, what was the question?

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

Today, it’s time to meet Gabriele Endress, independent consultant by day and “casual gamer chick” by night.

Gabriele, what should we know about you?

I’ve been doing “web stuff” to one degree [...]]]> The web analytics industry is littered with fascinating people, whose backgrounds and stories are incredibly diverse.  The Series may be Silly, but the people are wonderful.

Today, it’s time to meet Gabriele Endress, independent consultant by day and “casual gamer chick” by night.

Gabriele, what should we know about you?

I’ve been doing “web stuff” to one degree or another since early 1996, when I taught myself HTML and coded my first web site. By 1997 I was working as an intranet webmaster at a high-tech company. I spent 11 years with that company before they laid me off in 2008. By then I was a business analyst in their online marketing department, and one of the many hats I wore was managing web analytics for our team. We had implemented Omniture SiteCatalyst in early 2005 and I quickly fell in love with that aspect of my job. After my lay-off I launched my own one-woman consultantcy and I’ve been self-employed, working off-and-on ever since (more on than off thankfully!).

Do you think that web analytics is as male-dominated as it seems?  Are all the women in web analytics tomboys?

Oh don’t get me started!

But seriously, no I don’t think it is. I personally know a lot of women in analytics, both locally and online, and I wouldn’t call a single one of them a tomboy! I think the perception comes from the fact the male web analysts are more vocal – more of them write blogs, author books, go on speaking tours, while we women stay behind and do the real work!

If you were a metric, which one would you be and why?

I’d be a bounce rate. I am often multi-tasking between various projects and I constantly bounce around from one to the other during any given day. Even my thoughts constantly bounce from one thing to another at times, but at the end of the day, I always achieve my goals.

When you tell a client what is and isn’t working on their website, you’re really just guessing, aren’t you?

Well we’re all really just guessing, aren’t we?

No, no I kid! Really I’m not guessing. If anything I always try and be completely honest with the client. I use data to support my recommendations. If there is no data to explain why something isn’t working, I try and look at other avenues and ask questions like “Did something happen during the marketing campaign you’re not telling me? Was there a power outtage in the primary area your target audience lives? Did your IT department forget to tell you they decided to reboot the server right in the middle of your campaign?”

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

I would have to say Eric Peterson. He’s really championed the cause for web analytics in the past few years – everything from starting up the Analysis Exchange and Web Analytics Wednesdays to putting forth the first Code of Ethics for web analysts to the Web Analytics Association community. He really sticks his neck out there and defends our right to do what we do every day, and that really makes him a hero in my eyes.

Some might say that you were a spy because of the work you do.  If that were so, what would be your codename and transport of choice?

My spy name would be Morgen Coyote (Morgen is a unit of measurement in Germany, and I think I’m clever/sly like a coyote). My dream transport of choice would be a TARDIS, but if that weren’t available, a nice sports car would do.

If you have 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, what is the difference between a duck?

Less than a bill.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

For me personally – to continue to get projects from my clients, and pick up one more long-term client. For the industry in general, I’d like to see a greater acceptance by the public of our industry. I’m hoping the loud detractors of our field start to back off and let us show the world the benefits we can bring to the online and offline worlds, especially as the line continues to blur between the two.

What is your favourite book on the topic of web analytics?

I’m torn between “Web Analytics Demystified” by Eric Peterson and “Web Analytics 2.0” by Avinash Kaushik. They are both well written and provide important insights into analytics.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been asked by a customer?

“Why is our analytics tool always broken? The numbers never add up right!” This came from an internal client of mine at the high-tech company I used to work for. He would meticulously go through every report and add every number by hand, and if they were off by even 1 he’d raise a stink. He actually insisted I open a support ticket to have the “problem fixed.”

You work for a client and notice a problem with their tracking.  In fixing the problem and making the reporting more accurate, you upset The Boss because most of the figures he tends to boast about have taken a sharp nose-dive.  How do you placate him?

This scenario actually has happened to me before. The way I handled it was to have a face-to-face meeting, bringing with prepared slides and graphs and demonstrated that the fix didn’t negatively change any of the trends or precentages, just the raw numbers. If he stopped focusing on the raw numbers and looked at the trends and precentages he would see that with the corrected tracking, things were actually looking even more impressive than before and he should be able to keep boasting. He was really pleased with my explanation, and of course took all the credit for “correcting” the problem as well. Gotta love those HiPPOs!

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

Today, we turn to a lovely lady, Amy Sample.

Amy, please be good enough to tell the lovely readers about yourself.

I have officially been a Web Analyst for three years now. But, [...]]]> It’s a series. It’s a little bit silly.  It’s all good clean fun.  It’s the Silly Series of web analytics people profiles.

Today, we turn to a lovely lady, Amy Sample.

Amy, please be good enough to tell the lovely readers about yourself.

I have officially been a Web Analyst for three years now. But, I got my start in Internet advertising back in the mid-90s after a brief stint promoting Monster Truck races (true story). My path took me from packaging ad campaigns and analyzing banner effectiveness, to building business cases and conducting primary research for new online products. Looking back, it seems crazy that someone who started out in ad sales could end up a web analyst. The common thread through all of these positions though is using data to understand consumer behavior on the web.

When I’m not reporting on KPIs and dreaming up new research studies for PBS, you can find me wreaking havoc on the Washington DC area’s museums with my husband and two daughters.

So, you’re a girl – why are you involved in web analytics?  Shouldn’t you be at home, wistfully creating tapestries?

Tapestries, really? My living room drapes are hemmed with tape. You must have me confused with someone else. Unfortunately, my analytical brain has made me a dismal failure at anything creative.  I do make a mean muffin though.

I’m involved in web analytics because I’m passionate about understanding how and why people use media sites. What I realized through this job is I could care less about knowing which shade of blue leads to more clicks on a button. I am far more interested in uncovering unmet needs and understanding what motivates someone to watch a video or share something they saw on PBS.org with their friends.

If you were a metric, which one would you be and why?

I’m going to have to go with Engagement, because who wouldn’t want to be complex, controversial, and enlightening all at the same time?

You’ve been involved in the Analysis Exchange, representing a non-profit organisation.  Do you really think it’s worthwhile letting random analysts practise on your website?

Absolutely!  I originally considered being a mentor, but I realized that I was in a unique position of being at a non-profit organization.  The beauty of having random analysts practice on your site is they are not tainted by organizational complexities and often can see things in the data that you overlook.  Besides, we are public media.  What better way to get help than from the public?

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

There are so many superheroes I look up to, so it’s hard to pick just one.  But since you insist, I will say Victor Acquah from Blue Analytics.  Victor’s work on engagement, traffic circulation, social media measurement, and data visualization continue to push the boundaries of analytics at PBS.  He even jumped in head first as a mentor when I said “Hey let’s try this Analysis Exchange thing.” Every day, Victor makes me look like a rock star, and for that, he is my superhero.

Can you prove that you don’t collect visitor data simply to convince people that they need one of your hand-made tapestries?

You mean you don’t trust the statement from my lawyers? How about a pinkie swear?

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.  If you subsequently teach that same man to fish, how many times will his tweet be retweeted on a Sunday from 7-11pm?

Obviously 42.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

More people. Tools are fine, but when the zombies (er, FTC privacy police) come, we are going to need more people. I would also like to meet more of the crazy web analysts I follow on Twitter in person. Oh, and I’d like a pony, definitely a pony.

You are tasked with compiling the soundtrack for a documentary about web analysts in the wild.  What song plays over the opening credits?

I would go with the quintessential PBS favorite – Cookie Monster’s theme song. “C is for Cookie. That’s good enough for me. Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie. Cookie starts with C.”

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been asked by a customer?

While not an analytics request, I was asked to test the idea of a dating service for PBS viewers.  Yeah, the users thought it was absurd too.

Finish the sentence: “A web analyst is….”

A detective.  Often the answer to a question is another question.  A good analyst keeps following the questions and trying different approaches to find the true insight.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

It’s time to turn the spotlight on Michael Helbling

Michael, how would your greatest fan (you) describe you?

An internationally acclaimed speaker and blogger, Michael Helbling has become the toast of the web analytics industry with his rakish charm and rapier wit.   A friend to veteran [...]]]> The silly-season is over, but the Silly Series continues apace.

It’s time to turn the spotlight on Michael Helbling

Michael, how would your greatest fan (you) describe you?

An internationally acclaimed speaker and blogger, Michael Helbling has become the toast of the web analytics industry with his rakish charm and rapier wit.   A friend to veteran and rookie alike, he is persuasive in business and beloved by executives. He is the only web analyst who can actually create lift to the bottom line by delivering insights, no action required.  He is a master of all the digital marketing and optimization skills, and yet exceedingly humble.
Eric Peterson used to talk about the hybrid, Michael is the Trybrid, whatever that means.

You’ve described yourself as a comedian.  Say something funny.

Wait. I just did in the previous paragraph. Seriously though, even though it is my dream to one day be the first web analytics stand-up comic. Currently, I am only funny when I can sneak up on people by pretending to talk about something serious like usability or conversion optimization.

You’re a mentor in the Analysis Exchange.  Is that because you think you have nothing new to learn?

That is correct. We Analysis Exchange mentors pretend that we could learn more, but it is more of an act to make people that are newer to the industry not collapse in complete despair. That being said, I would be happy to learn something new if I could find someone in the web analytics field more talented than me, but let’s just face it Web Analytics is easy.

Jason Thompson recently wore a rather fetching tutu when he reached a target in his fundraising campaign for Charity:Water.  What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever done for charity?

I once spent five weeks in England doing construction work at a mission headquarters outside London. Working alongside volunteers from all over the world was an amazing experience, although a construction crew without a common language represents some interesting challenges. Who else can say they have hauled drywall up through a trap door into a castle’s keep? I also learned that in the 18th century they used sea shells to insulate sub floors. At no time did I actually wear a tutu however.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Without doubt it is Chris Grant (@cgrantski on Twitter). Her friendship and mentoring over the years have been invaluable to me on my web analytics journey. She has offered sage counsel not just in how to think and approach web analytics but has been a trusted advisor with excellent perspective on making career decisions. You know you have a true friend when they can and do call you out when you have a crappy attitude or are getting a little conceited. I am deeply in her debt.

If you were to walk backwards five miles from the spot you were standing on at 15:45 on November 18th 2009, what would you be looking at when you reached your destination?

If we are talking GMT, on that day, 5 miles behind me ’twas slightly brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogroves, but we don’t get a lot of mome raths here in Wisconsin.

What is your wish for the remainder of 2011?

I think of wishing as more of a passive activity. Whereas, to my mind, hope is the more active form of the same. A person with hope can do anything. In 2011 I want to have hope and give hope to others.  Being a part of even one person’s web analytics success story would make my year.

In which company department should web analytics sit, and why?

I would love to see Web Analytics sitting in Facilities Management or Food Service, but mostly because no one has posited that they should sit there yet. No matter where you are, you learn the business, you learn what drives the business, you learn who makes decisions and who can get things done. Then you align with those people, get insights into their hands, and watch as your elite cadre of instigators brings transformational change to your organization. Here is a picture of where I sit at Lands’ End. (no kidding)

Is it true that you once worked at McDonald’s?  How many burgers can you flip in ten minutes?

I was honoured to spend time consulting at McDonald’s and made it a habit to eat there once a week. My ultimate goal was to find a combination of food items at McDonalds that would result in one losing weight. Sadly, I was never able to do so. However, I am happy to say that the McDonald’s hamburger is the same size and recipe as it was in 1955, so it is what I order most often (the influence of corn in our food system notwithstanding).

I did have one college friend who thought that I had fallen on hard times and was working in a McDonald’s, so that was good for an awkward laugh. And I did once work as a Barista at Starbucks. My extra dry cappuccino was my signature beverage.

What is your favourite web analytics book and why?

The next one coming out. I want to read them all. But the two that I hand to someone brand new to web analytics are Web Analytics Demystified by Eric Peterson and Web Analytics an Hour a Day by Avinash Kaushik. Of the books I have read, and I still have some to go, those two provide excellent foundational knowledge for someone new to web analysis.

What is the best thing about the web analytics community, and should they all live in a commune together?

The best thing about the web analytics community is its accessibility and warmth. Just be yourself, and you will find yourself having an amazing time with people you will tell your grandchildren about. This is true at conferences, on Twitter, on forums etc… That being said we are an argumentative bunch, and living in a commune together would be awful. But it does give me a great idea for a reality show, have your people call my people.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!

Today, it’s time to talk to Michael D Healy (can’t believe I forgot to ask him what the D stands for).

Michael, tell us something about yourself – include something about baseball [...]]]> Do you know all you need to know about the people of web analytics?  Probably – but I’m here to share more anyway.

Today, it’s time to talk to Michael D Healy (can’t believe I forgot to ask him what the D stands for).

Michael, tell us something about yourself – include something about baseball that I won’t understand.

When I was a just a kid at a baseball game, I tried to figure out the exchange rate should the team at bat want to return a run off the board in exchange for the team on the field returning an out. Now we could potentially calculate this meaningless metric, if someone asked for it.

The method by which people make decisions and communicate the different phases of decision making is what I am working in as a web analytics consultant in the San Francisco Bay Area. Clients sometimes really want to know what the trade-off between outs and runs might be . . .

My wife works here in SF as well; we live in an urban environment bordering several very awesome parks which are somehow largely devoid of transients. Our daughter enjoys those parks almost as much as ‘Yo Gabba Gabba!‘ . . . DJ Lance Rock email me if you need some help dude!

We don’t cook as much as everyone else in the community apparently does, a walkscore of 100 gets us up and out too often to be in the kitchen cooking this and that. If you are coming to eMetrics in SF here are a few of my recommendations:

• The Monk’s Kettle – Aweseome, but BUSY!
• La Meizi – Spicy Sichuan Cuisine, only for those who like spicy food
• The French Laundry – Hope you have your reservations already

What book are you reading at the moment?

After my Analysis Exchange project with the New Zealand Drug Foundation, an org dedicated to ‘reducing the harmful effects of drugs based on the best evidence possible’, I started re-reading ‘Drug War Heresies.’

Did you know they served cocaine laced wine in the White House, the Vatican and Thomas Edison’s house? Vin Mariani.

If web analytics was a country, which one would it be and why?

France.

Lots of sophisticated foodies who can appreciate a range of human expression. On the other hand, we are at times depending on an intellectual Maginot Line to ensure our continued survival.

You are a mentor in the Analysis Exchange – is that because you think you’re the best thing since segmented wheat products?

Hmmmmmm . . . wheat products.

Taking care of the people who take care of you, and finding time to work in some people who just need your help, seems like a pretty good way to go about your business.

Who is your superhero-sans-cape in the web analytics community and why?

Since I already nominated ETP for the community web analytics award of the year, my answer is June Dershewitz.

She is someone who is consistent in her attention to, and always actively looking out for, the interests of web analysts near and far. Doing that while at the same time keeping everything laid back is a pretty cool quality.

If you knew the real reason behind the chicken crossing the road, who is the first person you’d tell?

Chick-fil-A. They could catch them all, produce more tasty chicken sandwiches and then expand their operations.

What is your wish for 2011?

My wife to approve the red one for our (almost) one year old daughter.

GO FAST!

Complete the sentence: “I am a web analytics nerd because…”.

The Analytics Scroll is blank.

No, that’s not from damn Kung Fu Panda . . . originally.

You win 2 free passes to eMetrics – to whom do you give the other pass?

Hold a contest for needy attendees where they submit:

1) 100 words why they would like to go

2) 100 words describing a problem, inputs, and analysis

3) One slick chart, graph or whatever illustrating that problem or a solution

Pick the winner based on individual awesome-ness and potential to learn at eMetrics.

Is online privacy a myth? Do you care?

I care about transparency in tracking, we should expect and demand honesty to the degree it is possible. If we are being tracked, disclose it.

Curious what Acxiom knows about you? Ask them here. If you are a California resident you have the right to find out what companies know about you, write to their privacy policy address with this form.

The history of privacy is, itself, quite interesting to me:

• President Jackson being hauled before the Supreme Court ex parte to stop the Post Office from regularly opening the mail
• The 1928 Olmstead decision allowing wiretaps and the 1967 Katz decision, which reversed Olmstead
• The Pond post WWII spying
• The FBI’s COINTELPRO activities
• Plausible deniability in ECHELON
• NSA program after 9/11
• President’s Surveillance Program data mining everything they can
• Building a hub for monitoring in San Francisco, ignoring that a technician may need to fix a wall socket at some point

The saddest development in large scale information collection by governments is, apparently, that this is another area where America is being overtaken by China.

I call on the US Government to re-double their tracking efforts, with mobile technology we are really making it so easy for you. Build a giant Hadoop Cluster somewhere in the middle of the US and just start filling it up. Put the empty missile silos from the Cold War back to use!

Remember when America was the land of dreaming the impossible, and then achieving that dream? We could be there again, Hadoop Cluster of mobile data in 2011!

What do you tell someone who asks you if a stand-alone metric is “bad” if it’s 37%?

1.065.

We used analysis of the data with the ROOT framework from CERN, as well as the Trilinos libraries from Sandia National Laboratories, to build, after a probability proportional to size sampling, an iteratively reweighted least squares estimation because R is for n00bs.

Integrating the iteratively reweighted least squares estimation, or IRLSE as we in the business call it, the model is further validated under Fisher’s Method to clearly prove a paradigm which is neither statistically significant, nor has a meaningful magnitude.

The duality of qualitative outcomes, both “good” and “bad”, are required outputs due to model encompassing the universe of possible, and impossible, outcomes.

Please put on your 3-D glasses so you can appreciate the graphical illustration of the model in the image below. In the image, a “good” result starts on the top surface towards the left of the image. As it transverses the model, “good” becomes “bad” in a very real sense.

To answer your other question, it is a little over 1 run to 1 out, 2 balls and a strike exchange rate.

Check out the full list of interviews in the Silly Series here!